


The Truth Hurts Worse Than Anything I Could Bring Myself To Do To You

by CuddleMonsterLab



Series: If We Cut Out The Bad Well Then We'd Have Nothing Left [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Black Romance, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Eridans POV, I might make a sequel, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Sex is also briefly mentioned, Unrequited Love, blood is mentioned very very briefly, but like eridan doesn't hate sollux, eridan is miserable, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 02:36:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7959028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuddleMonsterLab/pseuds/CuddleMonsterLab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You hated it, hated how you felt so much."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Truth Hurts Worse Than Anything I Could Bring Myself To Do To You

**Author's Note:**

> So yesterday I was coming home from a trip and it was a six hour car ride and my brain randomly through up this extremely short erisol fic.
> 
> Thanks for reading my shitty fic with my shitty writing.
> 
> Tittle is from I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers by fall out boy
> 
> Edit: I edited this fic a bit, mostly added a few little details and fixed grammar mistakes.

It was terrifying when you started to realize you were turning red for him. When the strong feeling of black hatred you once felt for him slowly turned into a intense feeling of red love and admiration. 

It was absolutely horrifying when you realized you were fully red for him.

You hated it, hated how you felt so much, because you knew he would never love you like you love him. Knowing that made you want to scream and tear the skin right off your face. You knew he'd only hated you, that he would only ever feel a black hatred for you, which was obviously judging by the fact he was your kismesis. 

You wished you could be his matesprite, you wished more than anything in the world that the two of you could be in a red relationship, but you know it could never ever happen. 

It was hard for you to keep being his kismesis you didn't want to fight him or hurt him anymore. Every black feeling you once felt for him was gone, replaced with a burning red feelings, but you knew you had to act as if those those feelings of blackness never left. You tried. You tried your hardest, you really did. But you always felt like you failed. Whenever he would punched you, you went against how you felt and would him punched back. When he would shout nasty names at you and said the awful things he said about you, you would act like it didn't hurt you, and would say awful things back to him. As hard as it was for you to say and do those horrible things filled with black emotions to him you, still did it because you knew that was what you were meant to do, that you could only ever have a black relationship with him and nothing more. 

You hated it when he would slam your back right up against a wall and would kiss you roughly filled with so much hatred, and you would kiss him back with just as much hatred as you could every time, even though the hate you kissed him back with was all a feeling of fake blackness.

You hated it when you and him would hate fuck and he would leave you as soon as you both were done getting off, or sometimes when just he himself was done getting off. It didn't help that most times he would leave you bloody and bruised feeling completely broken and empty inside. He made it worse when he wouldn't even look at you when he would start to dress himself quickly, and left as soon as he finished dressing himself. 

It would always shatter your heart each time he did it, even though you know he would keep doing it time after time again. You hated having to clean and bandage up your cuts up yourself, reflecting on what just happened forcing yourself not to cry while hating every moment of everything that had just taken place. Knowing that this was how your relationship with Sollux was meant to be, and knowing there was nothing you could do to change it.

**Author's Note:**

> I may write a sequel to this but first I'm gonna see how this fic does to see if it's worth me writing a sequel. I also might post a peterick fic.
> 
> Edit: So I wrote Sollux's point of view of this I still need to edit it but I will post it soon. I'm gonna make this into a series and I will write a sequel to both the fics where they get together


End file.
